My Marriage Sabbatical: A Memoir of Solo Travel and Lasting Love by Leah Fisher
Review by Eleanor J. Bader
By the time psychotherapist Leah Fisher was in her early 60s, she was sick of eating dinner alone while her husband, Charley, worked late into the evening. She was also sick of his reluctance to take an extended vacation. But rather than stew in resentment or anger, she presented him with a carefully thought-out plan. If he couldn’t envision taking a year-long trip – a real break from their life in the San Francisco Bay – she’d go alone.
As she presented it, the idea was more of a negotiation than an ultimatum. After all, Fisher still loved Charley and wanted to remain married. Nonetheless, she was ready for something new, an adventure. As the pair talked, they came up with an arrangement in which Fisher would travel for several months and then return home for a week or two. They also broached sexual infidelity and developed ground rules for what would, and would not, be allowed. Moreover, Charley arranged his occasional vacations to meet her in some of the seven countries – Bali, Costa Rica, Colombia, Cuba, Guatemala, Java, and Mexico – she visited.
Fisher’s travels – staying in each location for a month or longer – allowed her to learn Spanish and dance salsa, all while maintaining the spark between her and her mate. It also allowed her to contribute to the communities she visited. Indeed, Fisher moved beyond tourism and volunteered in numerous capacities, running a short-term women’s group and translating and adapting a workbook, first created for American hurricane survivors, to help kids process their emotions after a mudslide destroyed their homes.
Deeply felt and emotionally honest, Fisher spent 16 years writing and revising My Marriage Sabbatical. As she and Charley continually alter their relationship, they model lived feminism and compromise. The result is wanderlust-inducing – the stuff of dreams and daring.
My Marriage Sabbatical: A Memoir of Solo Travel and Lasting Love by Leah Fisher. She Writes Press, January 2025.
Reviewer bio: Eleanor J. Bader is a Brooklyn, NY-based journalist who writes about books and domestic social issues for Truthout, Rain Taxi, The Progressive, Ms. Magazine, the Los Angeles Review of Books, and The Indypendent.
